October 1, 2018
Did you know I used to be an Emergency Department Nurse? And that I (thought) I absolutely thrived off the chaos and busy-ness of that environment? I loved the instant gratification that came from seeing someone sick or in pain, giving a drug, and magically they felt better! Or they got stitched up, or we removed the mysterious object from the place that you don’t want to hear about, or after some simple interventions they could breathe more comfortably. Doesn’t that sound awesome??? Except. It wasn’t.
It slowly chipped away at my resources and resiliency until my body (against the orders of my Type-A, “never show weakness” personality) finally gave out.
And then I was one of those mysterious cases that I hated “dealing” with at work. The ones where there was no diagnosis. Where there was no instant gratification. Where there was no drug or no intervention that I or anyone else I knew could do to give them hope.
I was the one in the hospital bed unable to use my leg, in pain, unable to sit up without an epic migraine or my pulse shooting sky high…without any reason why.
I ended up being diagnosed with something called somatoform, a mental illness that literally translates as “the physical manifestation of emotion.” (They have since removed this as a diagnosis from the medical books, which I find rather interesting.) Though in all honesty, I was happier to be given that diagnosis than something far scarier…if what I had wasn’t showing up on MRIs or bloodwork, than I could find a way to work with it.
My GP diagnosed me with something quite different. Something I had never heard of. She said I was in the midst of a Spiritual Emergency. A crisis of personal transformation. A restructuring of my energetic body and belief system to the point that my physical body was falling apart. Huh. This was all news to me that I was changing my belief system.
Except I got to thinking. Haven’t I been asking the question, for years, “what is the point of all this?” All this studying and working hard and maybe one day buying a house and settling down. Haven’t I felt this deep, niggling layer of emptiness just beneath the surface, but if I kept signing on for another course or taking another job, that would be the “right” thing and I would be content and feel peaceful? But it never came.
And so, there I was. On medical leave. My employment insurance long finished. Wondering what the hell am I going to do to get better. Yet there was always this sense of the physical symptoms being temporary. A deep inner knowing that I would find my way through them.
The emotional and spiritual suffering, well, on that side I didn’t know if I’d ever come through. Depression and anxiety were constant “friends” for me. It was a very dark time in my life, and it was not an easy, sparkly road out of it at first.
I basically feel it was the grace of the Creator that led me through that time. I learned more from those experiences than any course, any book, or any degree. I found the peace that I’d been looking for in life, and had all but given up on. And I want you to know that if you’ve ever been told there isn’t any “medical reason” to feel as you do, whether that be pain or fatigue or emotional suffering, that I am still here for you. Other healers and therapists are here for you too.
Or even if you do have a diagnosis of a “chronic” medical challenge, there is still more that can be done. If my story can instill even a tiny bit of hope into you, than that would be a beautiful spark of light in your healing process.
I was led to the work I do now through a long and challenging road. And I can easily tell you I never would have trained as a Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapist and Energy Healer had I not gone through every experience I went through.
So I get it. I see you. I hear you.
And while we may not be able to wave a magic wand and make everything all sunshine and rainbows in an instant, I believe there is always another layer of health that can be uncovered. One step at a time.
So if my journey has intrigued you and you want to hear it from me, I invite you to check out [this podcast] (https://arianafotinakis.com/tds-41-the-energetic-root-of-chronic-pain-with-lisa-matthews/). In it, I share more of my story and what led me down this path with the wonderful Ariana Fotinakis on The Daily Sweat Podcast.
I also explain how I found the work I do now with Craniosacral Therapy. How I work with my Compassionate Helping Spirits and Guides and Flower Essences, and that I still love all the nerdy anatomy and physiology too :)
I also give some practical tips to connect you to your body on a deeper level and to begin listening to the wisdom within. If you or someone you know is on a healing path or is in pain, head on over to listen. And as always, if you have thoughts, questions, or curiosities, I welcome you to get in touch with me. Even if that’s just to say you’re feeling stuck and want someone to hear you.
I trust your journey in life to be a continually unfolding path to wholeness.